She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
