If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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