Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
