Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My vagina is very pro this idea
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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