You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
