I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We have started to decorate penises.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
