He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
