I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
