i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
