i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
