Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
