did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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