Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
