He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
