You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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