I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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