You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize