i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
