Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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