I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Found the puke drawer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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