I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
