heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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