I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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