I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
