At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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