you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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