Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
