She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
