I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
