I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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