Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
