i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I fill condoms, not promises.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
