all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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