Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
