You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
