I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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