Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize