i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize