none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
