Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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