Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
