North Korea, Best Korea!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
