Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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