i just had sex bonerless
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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