Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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