in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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