i don't like sucking hair
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
