whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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