i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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