Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
