I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need help removing her.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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