Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I am one with the molecules
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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