So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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