no, he came in my armpit
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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