he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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