jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
