I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize