his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
