Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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